The Rose Family Adoption Journey

Referral turned down

2011-08-17T20:52:00.000-07:00

We got "the call" but not really. Lina was reviewing our homestudy and saw that we have a biological child with a heart defect and thought we might consider a child with a medical problem. It was a hard decision, but with three other children it is decision that effects the lives of more than you and your spouse. If we did not have any other children, we may have considered it, she is very cute and the condition is manageable. We live a very active lifestyle and someone with her medical needs would probably not be able to go camping, etc.

We are finished with the homestudy update, Lina suggested we change the age from 0-3 to 0-4. With that change we have to wait a little longer to get DCFS approval again, since it was just approved this week for 0-3. Only in IL do you have to get DCFS approval. Then we will apply to CIS again, more prints etc.

Homestudy update process

2011-07-27T18:58:00.000-07:00

After almost a month and a half of our homestudy agency telling us that they are busy, they finally scheduled our homestudy update meeting. We had the meeting today, everything is the same except for the name of our nanny, so hopefully it will be sent to Lina for review quickly. The update was $900 and the nanny's medical exam and fingerprints were $100. We had to file a request to renew our FBI & state fingerprints, this was $75 each. The USCIS immigration update (I-800a) apparently does not have a fee, but I assume the fingerprints do.

I am so frustrated by the seemingly endless waiting process as everyone else is who is waiting. I wish there was a list and some order to it all. I am very tempting to switch countries, but as much as the wait and the process seems unfair, I am a practical person and the $13,000 we have invested seems like a lot of money to just let it all go and start over. We are just about two years into the whole process now, waiting for 11 months now.

Time to renew our Homestudy

2011-05-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

I have been hesitating to post lately, just out of frustration with this whole process. Now I see why so many people stop in the middle of the process. We have been very upset that there seems to be no sense to the "waiting list". Families with the similar requests to ours have a short wait, when we having been waiting more than 10 months now. I wish there was some order to the whole thing, I feel bad having these "it's not fair" feelings. I AM just happy that things are happening for some people, it does give me hope that maybe our turn is coming.

IN the meantime, we have been asked by our adoption agency to start the renewal process on our homestudy 4 months in advance of the immigration paperwork expiring. So that is June, so I am told. I contacted the homestudy agency and of course there is a large fee for the renewal process. The biggest hurdle is telling our new au pair that she has to get a blood test and be finger printed. Good thing David speaks Spanish.

Passports

2011-03-07T10:16:00.000-08:00

My last post was September 23rd, so I guess we have been waiting about 5 month. Today we finally applied for passports for our 3 boys. It was very difficult to get me, my husband, and all three children to the post office during regular business hours all at the same time! Today is Casmir Pulaski Day and here in Chicago it is a holiday for school (we are teachers), so it was the perfect day to apply for the passports. How ironic that it was thanks to a Polish war hero that we all had the day off!!

We still haven't decided if we will bring the kids with us to Poland, but in 6 weeks, we will at least have the option. My passport will expire in October, so I am mailing mine in later today for renewal. Glad I noticed the expiration date today!

A recent pic of our current family.... for now...

Polish adoption group?

2010-09-23T09:18:00.000-07:00

I came across this website and I wondered if anyone has ever been to any of their events. There was a picnic here in IL last weekend. I saw that they have meetings in other states as well.
http://www.adoptionspolish.com/index.html

Not really officially waiting yet...

2010-09-16T07:14:00.000-07:00

I e-mailed Lina to confirm that everything was received and to confirm that we were officially waiting. I was surprised to find out that it takes about 2 months for "translation & authentication", then we are placed on the waiting list.

Also, while Lina did send our paperwork to Poland, she requested we do 2 things. Our au pairs' medical form was missing a few boxes that were not filled in and she sent it back to us. And my children's medical forms were the DCFS forms that the doctor's office always uses, but Lina wanted them on the St. Mary's form. I was kind of kicking myself for that one, but the form asked so many adult questions, it just seemed odd to use it for small children. So Both sets of doctors are filling out new forms and then I will have to get them apostilled again and then they will join our other paperwork in Poland.

Apstilling & Sending Dossier to Agency

2010-08-24T11:18:00.000-07:00

WOW...that was a crazy 2 days!

We got home on Friday night, so I had to wait until Monday to get everything signed at the bank, but our I-800a approval notice was indeed waiting for us when we got home. So I went to the bank and got everything notarized (my hand hurts). Then I headed downtown Chicago to find the Apstilling place. Parking was $29. It took about 1 hour and she handed me back all but about 10 pages and said she couldn't apstill (spelling) an original document. So I gave a call to Lina (our adoption agency contact). She said to make a copy and get it notarized again. Well these documents were signed my my husband and au pair, so I thought I had to go home to get them, but Lina said that I could sign them (medical forms and FBI approvals). So, then I found a Fed EX/Kinko's and made copies, but of course I didn't have a blank notary affidavit, so I had to buy a flash drive and get it off my laptop (good thing I had my laptop). Then I found a bank and had them notarized, the back to the apstilling office. It was a total of $122 ($2 for each signature). Then I went home to organize everything.......There was 1 page missing!!!

So, today I went back to the bank, then the apstilling office, paid $2 more dollars and then back to Fed Ex. It was $52 to mail everything to Lina. Then there was the next set of payments along with it. So, I have added a lot to my running total at the bottom of this blog.

So now it will be translated.

I-800a mail

2010-08-10T08:16:00.001-07:00

We came home from MI last night, but there was still no approval letter. So today I called and since our original appointment wasn't until August 18th, that is why the paperwork wasn't processed (something like that). So a very nice man named Elliot, set the process moving while I was on the phone and it will be on his desk by tomorrow, then in the mail to us.

My problem now is that we usually come home every Tuesday from MI for appointments, etc., but next week, we are planning a camping trip to Mackinaw Island. So, do I come home (2.5 hour drive each way) on Monday just for this letter and then back to MI, then another 6 hour drive to Mackinaw? Or do I just wait until the 23rd, when we have to be back in IL anyway for the start of school? I'm tempted to do the drive.... 2 weeks seems like nothing compared to the year we have been working on this.

Three cheers for our federal government!

2010-07-28T14:27:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would be excited about the kindness of a federal government employee, but the 2 people we dealt with today were nothing short of wonderful. We got home from our vacation last week to find only an appointment notice for our au pair. her appointment was this Friday, so I went into the office on the notice and found out that it takes 3 weeks to reschedule for another appointment, but we could try to come when they are not busy and they might just take us...BUT we had to have all 3 appointment letters to do that. So, I called the help line and found out that there was a computer glich and David and my letters were coming. Our appointment turned out to be for Aug 18th (another bad day for us). SOOOOO, today we all went in at 8 am this morning and they were VERY busy. A VERY nice man told me to come back at 2 pm and they would take care of us. We did and were all fingerprinted before all of our scheduled appointments... I can't believe it!

Anyone know the approximate wait time from day of USCIS fingerprinting to approval letter received??

2010-07-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

I was so worried that we would be on our vacation when we got our fingerprint appointment notice...but we got home yesterday and there was a letter but only for our au pair's appointment. Hers is next Friday (the worst possible day for campground owners!!). So, I went into the office yesterday and asked if we could change it...well, that takes several weeks, but the nice lady behind the counter explained that they might be able to do it if we come and they are not busy on another day. But, I still have to wait until David and I get our appointment letters. Hopefully that will come this Monday or in today's mail.

I still have never heard from the grandmother in the domestic adoption that I talked about, so I'm guessing she had a bad week and now is fine. I hope the little girl is...

We had a wonderful vacation to the Smokey Mts. and we had a car FULL driving down there. My mom, our au pair, my husband and I...and 3 LOUD boys. They say our mini-van seats 7, I guess it does. But next year, I guess my mom won't be able to join us (we will hopefully have a full house!

Update

2010-07-02T19:46:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that I left everyone sort of hanging... We were also left hanging. The grandmother was ready to bring the girl to us the day after I posted that last message, then she was going to call, then she had second thoughts, then she was going to call (you get the picture). I guess she had a bad week with her (I heard she pulled her diaper off and pooped on the carpet). Her husband doesn't want to raise her and she does...so we are not sure if suddenly she will call us again. I sent her a nice e-mail basically saying we are ready and willing for her but that we are moving forward with our Polish adoption plans (I got no response so far). We decided we would adopt this 3 1/2 year-old if it is meant to be, but it is looking doubtful. Poor girl..hopefully they step up and care for her like she should be cared for.

So, we got a fancy letter from the Dept. of Homeland security saying that they received our I800a application and that we will receive an appointment notice in the mail. I am feeling guilty because this is a busy week for us at our Michigan campground and then we are going out of town for a week, so I am not getting my mail in IL until July 15th. I hope we don't miss the appointment to get our fingerprints done.

To answer one of my intials questions about this whole process----YES, you have to get fingerprinted twice for this process, once for the FBI and once for the Dept. of Homeland Securtiy...because of course they don't talk to each other.

Also, we sent our 2 copies of our homestudy to get apostilled in North Carolina and it took only about a week and a half to get it back. So, everything still has to be apstilled in IL, but we are waiting for the I800 approval.

Shocking development

2010-06-12T19:40:00.000-07:00

We got a call tonight about a child that we had talked about adopting about a year and a half ago. At the time, the grandmother had decided to parent the girl. This girl is the biological sister of my sister's adopted daugther. The girl is now 3 and a half and has had a rough upbringing.

We are so shocked about this possible opportunity! We are wondering if she has so many issues that the grandmother (who is in her 40s) just can't handle her...can we? The grandmother is willing to bring her here next week for a visit.

I don't quite know what to say or do about this, but as adoptive parents or parents-to-be, if you have any thoughts, I would love to hear them.

Mailed CIS form..took some pics

2010-06-07T19:49:00.000-07:00

I mailed the USCIS form today (I800a) with a check for $910 ($670 fee + $80 per person in our household). Thanks for the advice everyone, I ended up sending the application, our birth & marriage certificates, and the check.

Now I wait for a response, I wonder how long it takes??? I am waiting for the documents that our homestudy agency was supposed to send us (police clearances/ FBI, etc. ) Wish I had insisted they provide them to me sooner. They were supposed to make copies, then send me the originals.

We took a family picture with the self timer today for the dossier. My oldest son is sticking out his tonge, but the rest of us are looking forward. I took several, but someone is always looking silly. I am debating using the one of the 2 of us..my husband is making a crazy face!

SOOOO confused!

2010-06-06T08:09:00.000-07:00

We received our 4 copies of the homestudy back from St. Mary's yesterday with instructions on how to fill out the I-800a form. Which I did sucessfully :-)
BUT, the instructions say to that a complete application includes "certified copies of dispositions regarding arrests" (FBI checks and child abuse clearances)
This did not come in the envelope from our homestudy agency nor St. Mary's. I e-mailed and got this response, "The home study’s supportive documents are not going together with the home study; the home study itself is the document you need."

I am soooo confused! I hate this feeling!

What goes with the I800a form other than the homestudy, birth/marriage certificates, and a check????

Then the other 3 copies of the homestudy... one is for us
the other 2 are part of the dossier...ok...but the police clearances and FBI clearance is supposed to be apstilled with the homestudy....

helpppppppppp

State of IL DCFS approval...finally!

2010-05-21T14:51:00.000-07:00

I received this e-mail today...

Hi Wynter,
The mail just arrived with the DCFS approval letter! Horray! DCFS is saying that 8 weeks has just become the norm.
Now we will send to your agency your notarized home study - we send a number of copies and they distribute them to you. Let me know if you want them sent FED EX to St. Mary's.
Hope all is well,
Maggie

Well, what I was told takes 3 weeks, took 8 weeks. I have a few choice comments on this, but I will not rant. So now, I need to know the best way to get everything apstilled in IL...
I already got the 1 document from Michigan apstilled, it took 2 weeks (for them to print out a pretty certificate with a gold sticker attaching it to David's birth certificate).

We ducked under a rope this time...this time

2010-04-17T18:56:00.000-07:00

Our au pair (nanny) was going to switch families for her 2nd year in the au pair program, because she wanted some new experiences (& possibly 4 children at some point scared her a bit), BUT at the last minute we jokingly offered her a raise and a ticket to visit Germany to see her best friend....AND she took the deal! Now we don't have to worry about delaying the adoption EVEN FURTHER by getting a whole new person into our homestudy fingerprints, & medical papers, etc.

We use Cultural Care as our au pair agency. We really like having an au pair in the house...soooo nice to not have to wrap the kids up and drag them to someone's house for daycare, etc. We also like the cultural experience it brings to our family. Our current au pair is from Panama and now she will be with is until July 19th of 2011.

After they added, like 2 sentences, our homestudy is STILL with DCFS...ughhh. Then the next step is getting everything apostilled.

Sent to DCFS again

2010-04-10T19:44:00.002-07:00

The homestudy agency sent to homestudy to DCFS (a requirement in IL) on March 5th. On April 5th, they heard back, but then they wanted some wording added. So, the homestudy made these changes, but them the adoption agency had to approve it again. Of course, there was the Easter holiday in between all this so that added days as well.

I tried to be proactive and fill out the I800 form, but the I had a question about one section of it and when I asked, the adoption agency said "everything in its time" or something like that.

So, now as I wait for the final, final DCFS approval, I want to get my pictures together. I need 2 sets. Do I glue photos to a piece of paper or do a lay them out and scan them and make a color copy? Do I write captions under each photo? Do they need to be all on one page?

I am so confused by this process!

2010-02-15T19:05:00.000-08:00

Now, it doesn't really matter that I have earned a doctorate...this process is meant to drive sane people nuts. At the beginning of February (4 weeks, not including the 2 week winter holiday) we recieved an e-mail from the adoption agency saying that there were some changes that needed to be made in the homestudy. Some of the things that they want out are things that IL require. They are going to figure it out I guess. Then we needed to provide all these finanical documents that I offered up months ago, but our homestudy agency said we didn't need. I guess now we do.

Now there is a break in comminication about the figerprint process. The paperwork from the adoption agency says one thing and the homestudy agency told me to do another thing. This question was poseed to the adoption agency: "Also David and Wynter were not fingerprinted using the FBI fingerprinting cards and sending those off to the FBI directly. The method mostly used in Illinois is to use Accurate Biometrics which scans the prints directly into the system and then using our agency's ORI number, sends a report directly to us. So the documentation for both state and FBI will be a print out - not cards. " What the heck is the difference between cards and a print out????

So we wait to see if we need to do something else. So, after adoption agency approves once again, it is off to DCFS for approval which I am told takes another 3 weeks.

The long, long, long homestudy process

2009-12-15T09:43:00.000-08:00

I'm sure that there are large differences in the process between various homestudy agencies. BUT, I never thought it would take THIS long! Today I e-mailed to check the progress of the writing of the homestudy and I was told it was being reviewed . I mentioned that I would like to send it to be apstilled before the holidays. The response was: "Remember the home study draft will first go to St. Mary's, then we have to send it to the State of Illinois/DCFS intercountry for approval before the state will allow us to release it to you or immigration."

There are so many steps that they don't tell you about when you start. Is "state of Illinois/DCFS intercountry for approval" different than apstilling? I assume so. How long does that take????? We had our first interview on October 5th, our 2nd interview on Nov. 2nd...now it's December 15th and it is in review and then state of Illinois/DCFS intercountry for approval ... Are homestudys usually 3 to 4 months?

Something to keep in mind if you are starting this process....ask about the average time for each stage and compare agencies. We didn't really have a choice though, since we had an infant in the house, several homestudy agencies would not do one with us until the baby is over 1 year and we didn't want to wait that long.

Final homestudy meeting

2009-11-02T15:08:00.000-08:00

Now we wait for the social worker to type up our homestudy. We have to provide her with a note from our 2nd son's doctor, because he has a heart defect. (not sure why this matters, but we will do so). She said it could take up to a month to put the homestudy draft together.

I have been thinking about the transitional objects. I found a nice soft album on Amazon that seems perfect at http://amzn.com/B000GKW6CY It holds 12 pictures.

I also think a build-a-bear with our voices recorded on it, seems like a good idea. The social worker suggested a blanket, but I like the soft doll idea better, since I'm sure the children all share blankets.

I am sending some of our papers to Michigan to get those apstilled this week. The Illinois papers will have to wait for the completed homestudy.

I hung some pictures of prairie flowers in her room last night. Our 2 oldest boys' room is done in a forest theme, our baby boy has a swamp/marsh theme, and she will have a prairie theme. David explored the doll house designs at Hobby Lobby today! So it's not just me who is jumping the gun a bit with the thoughts of a daughter joining the family.

After the 1st homestudy visit

2009-10-06T17:39:00.000-07:00

Four hours is a bit much for my husband, but we made it through all the questions, etc. Both the homestudy agency and the adoption agency wants the original reference forms ...but I think I convinced the homestudy agency to take copies. I asked about the CIS for I600 A, and the homestudy social worker said to file it, BUT Lina (adoption agent) says that it is the I800A form not 600 and that we should wait. I guess I am going with the 800, but at $670 I hope that is right!

We have our 2nd meeting on Nov. 2nd. In the meantime, we have to take 3 more online classes (nothing in person though), type up the answers to almost the same 15 questions the social worker asked us in the meeting, and get the medicals notarized.

Our homestudy is Monday (Oct. 5th)!

2009-10-03T16:01:00.000-07:00

I think I have all the paperwork together and probably some that they don't even need. I was a little confused about whether to give up the originals of our references and medical forms, but Lina (from our adoption agency) said to hang onto the originals. I am still confused about the notarized medical forms. Our doctor does not have a notary and Lina said to have our signatures notarized and write on it that it is a true copy of our medical records. Anyone else do this this way? We actually have the same issue with our work letters, no notary there either.

When I read in someone's blog about the homestudy being read out loud, I began to get nervous about what to say. We did a mini-homestudy to become foster parents, so the questions probably won't come as a surprise.

So far I have the following questions:

Should I just include a picture of our house and one of the family, or should I include more than just 2?

When do I file the I 171H (approval form from CIS) form?

What else can we do to fulfil the requirement to attend a face-to-face class for international adoption? We have done 2 online courses, but the homestudy agency says that Illinois requires some of the hours to be in person.

The journey is beginning or continuing depending on how you look at it

2009-09-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

I am starting this blog to keep a record of our process and because I really enjoy reading everyone elses blog as they go along on their journeys through the adoption process.

Our story: David and I have been married since 2001. Our first son was born in 2003 and our 2nd son was born in 2005. Then we had our first loss in 2007, it was a girl at 20 weeks. It hit me hard and the loss made me "go after" a healthy baby quite fervently. I lost another baby in July of 2008. We were now going about the 3rd child in 2 different directions. We went through the process of becoming foster parents. It wook several months and we took 27 hours of training. We never got a child placed with us, because we live in an area with a lot of foster homes and they only place children within a small radius of their birth home. (Even though there is a shortage in the low-income areas) I tried one more time and we got our 3rd son, who was born in July 2009. The theory we are going with is that there was something wrong with the "girl" gene and that is why this boy was perfectly healthy.

So, we told a number of people that we wanted to adopt and in June 2009 we found a birthmother who wanted to give up her daughter. We had her for 5 days from the hospital, but then the birthmother changed her mind. To us, it was worse than the 2 miscarriages.

So, international adoption seemed like a good choice, mostly because you can select the gender of the child you want to adopt. With 3 boys, we wanted to be sure our 4th child will be a girl.

We decided on Poland, mostly because it didn't seem as common as Russia or China. We found an agency in June 2009. Our next challenge was finding a homestudy agency in our area. It was a challenge because we have a newborn and some agencies will not let you adopt with a baby under 1 year in your home. We found one and now we are gathering documents and going through the homestudy process.