We got a call tonight about a child that we had talked about adopting about a year and a half ago. At the time, the grandmother had decided to parent the girl. This girl is the biological sister of my sister's adopted daugther. The girl is now 3 and a half and has had a rough upbringing.
We are so shocked about this possible opportunity! We are wondering if she has so many issues that the grandmother (who is in her 40s) just can't handle her...can we? The grandmother is willing to bring her here next week for a visit.
I don't quite know what to say or do about this, but as adoptive parents or parents-to-be, if you have any thoughts, I would love to hear them.
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What an exciting development! I hope that little girl does end up in your family. Luckily you already have the home study complete.
ReplyDeleteWe had a slightly similar situation with a 6 year old boy. Our friends thought he was going into the foster system, but it turned out the "grandparents" who were not biological in any way, had legal custody and wanted to raise him.
During that time, we continued on with our paperwork from Poland. So my thought is to keep all of your options open. It will happen the way it is suppose to.
Is there any way you can find out what those issues are? Some can be resolved with lots of love and attention. We adopted our child at 3 and he's had developmental delays that he's only now beginning to close up. But he'll overcome it before he enters first grade. It just involves a LOT of work!
ReplyDeleteIf you have the energy, time and money for it - go for it!
Wow! Exciting and nerve racking! I've never heard of a child coming here to meet with folks... Always a new twist! Maybe she can visit your pediatrician if she is here for the visit??
ReplyDeleteOur guy lived with grandma for a while before she relinquished custody. We assume she simply was not ready to commit to parenting for the long haul... I know it was a hard decision for her.
Wow! What a surprise! I'm assuming this would be a domestic adoption. That would be fantastic if she became part of your family!! A great friend adopted 2 sisters from a not-healthy domestic situation. They were almost 3 and almost 9 months. Four years later...they have had "issues" but are doing great!!
ReplyDeleteUnexpected twists can sometimes make us scared, but when you get all the facts and understand the situation the answer will come to you!
ReplyDeleteI agree, get the facts. It could be completely fortuitous or it could be something much more serious. A developmental pediatrician is also an excellent opinion to get if there are any questions. There is no way of knowing but I for one, believe in fate and that God truly leads us to where we are meant to be. You just have to let Him lead you with an open heart and the answer will be clear. He never gives us more than we can handle. Good luck- so exciting!
ReplyDeleteHi, I just wanted to say good luck in all of this. I don't have much advice, but if this situation presented itself to us, I'm sure we would pursue getting as much info as possible. It is good you will be able to have a visit, if you want, and can get direct medical advice etc. We would probably want to know what the expectations about contact with birth family are - open adoption? Not sure if that is a factor for you or not.
ReplyDeleteGood luck again!
Wow!! What an unexpected twist. I agree with the others about getting all of the information and keep all of your options open. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteAMAZING!!!!! It would be great if the two girls could still have contact with one another, but I do understand your hesitation. Remember that at some point, with this new news or waiting for that referral from Poland, you will have to just take a deep breath and "jump" and believe.
ReplyDeleteWe were aprehensive accepting our son's referral too (as there wasn't much information to go on regarding his cleft palate and other health issues). But we decided to take that leap of faith, and we feel so blessed that we did.
Wyn,
ReplyDeleteAny news yet? I have been thinking of you and wondering what you guys decided. Keep us posted. Praying that you feel confident and happy about how everything works out!:)
Like Brooke said I've also been thinking about you and wondering what you decided to do. I'm sure everything will work out whatever choice you make.
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